something is wrong

a grey gloomy sky is what i get for the past few days. i am unsure if i am the kind of person whose mood changes with the weather but i am definitely feeling the same way as it is now. i miss the sunlight to brighten up my every morning. i want the happy cheerful morning when i have to drag myself out of my bed but not the rainy mornings when i just want to lie in bed.

there is so much negativity storing inside me now. i dont know where does it come from? i dont know what has happened to me. i can still laugh and joke around with friends but the grey cloud lingers above me. i am unknowingly or knowingly shutting myself out from him.

maybe tomorrow i will find my way home.

my 1st nephew!!!!!

yeah!!!! my sis has finally given birth today to a beautiful baby boy on the 18 aug 08. haha. this isnt exactly my first time being an aunty because some of my cousins actually have kids now but this time round it is different. he is my sis's son, definitely a lot closer to heart. haha. i am so going to love him.

went to visit my sis after school today and had a shock of my life when i saw her. her face was like pale white. omg! imagine all the pain and the amount of exhaustion she had to experience to give live to this baby boy. yes, mothers are the world's most noble person. love all mums, especially my mum and sis.

i hope she recover well and fast and yes, my nephew is going to be a fine young man. =)

national day 2008

yesterday was national day and this year round, i din spend the day in front of the tv, wishing i would be at the grand stand, watching the fireworks display. =) wells, i went for the ndp preview so i pretty much had watched the parade. so it was alright for me to give the parade and mass display a miss since i knew what would be happening. and so, dabai and i went to marina bay to watch the fireworks.

that wasnt the original plan but we changed it at the very last minute. he had no choice but to agree to it because his girlfriend wanted it. haha. i think generally girls just love fireworks. they were short-lived but that magical moment when they went off in the dark sky against the cityhall landscape seemed like a life time. they were just superb. the feeling was beyond words to have fireworks exploring right behind my own eyes. love it lots!!!

hoping to test my assumption was right, i contacted pee to check if she would be interested to catch the display. and i was right! it was great watching fireworks with good company. =) i remembered last year there was a fireworks event after the national day. i wondered if the same event will be back this year.

tomorrow is a new sem and a new academic year. embrace everything that comes along with an open mind and determined heart. i know i am going to make it through with you beside me. jiayou!!! the WAT friends are finally back in spore. woohoo!

conflicting

sometimes i find myself a conflicting person. the way my mind works doesnt tally with what i said. although i said it is alright for me, when the 'if situation' happens to me, i will feel the exact opposite. oh my! why is this mask doing on my face?

do i have to force a smile when i want to cry? do i have to say it is alright when deep down inside, i know i am feeling crap? do i always have to be the chatty and happy girl to convince you that i am perfectly ok?

it sucks when i know it hurts to tell the truth. crap!